Catch or Catfish? How to Avoid Senior Romance Scams

Romance scams are an unfortunate reality today’s singles need to be aware of when navigating the world of dating, especially later in life.

By Laura Mellett

As spring brings fresh starts and new opportunities for connection, many retirees find themselves exploring online dating or rekindling social relationships. While a new love can be exciting, it’s important to stay vigilant and avoid falling victim to a romance scam.

In recent years, romance scams have surged, with U.S. victims age 60 and older reporting more than $277 million dollars in losses in 2023 alone, according to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC).

“Loneliness and social isolation are the biggest reasons older adults respond to romance scams,” says Simona Combi of the National Council on Aging. “Perhaps older generations tend to be more trusting in general.”

How Romance Scammers Operate

Romance scams, also known as “sweetheart” or “catfishing” scams, often start on dating apps, social media platforms or random text messages. Scammers build a fast and intense connection by messaging frequently, showering their target with compliments and expressing deep emotions. They may claim to be working abroad or say that their device’s camera is broken — anything that gives them a convenient excuse to avoid video calls.

Once trust is established, the scammer will create a financial emergency or opportunity. They might say they need money to help them get back on their feet, start a business or pay for groceries, utilities, car payments, medical bills, a visa or a visit. They make their requests seem urgent and emotional to compel victims to help. Some seniors are even tricked into giving away their hard-earned retirement savings.

The FTC reports that, in 2021, people reported paying romance scammers more with gift cards than any other method, though wire transfers and money transfer apps are also common.

Protecting Yourself From Scammers

To protect yourself, be wary of anyone who asks for money, gift cards or financial information, and remember to take things slowly and verify their identity. If something feels off, talk to a trusted friend or family member as scammers rely on secrecy to manipulate their victims.  

Here are some red flags to watch out for:

• Rapid declarations of love: Scammers often profess love quickly to establish a strong emotional connection.

• Inconsistent stories: Be wary of individuals whose personal stories frequently change or don’t add up.

• Requests for money: Any request for financial assistance or investment, especially from someone you’ve never met in person, is a significant warning sign.

• Reluctance to video chat: Scammers often avoid face-to-face interactions, such as live video calls, citing various excuses.

• Loved ones don’t buy it: Explain the situation to someone you trust. If they think something’s fishy, heed their advice.
  
  

What to Do If You’ve Been Targeted

If you suspect a scam, stop all communication with the scammer immediately. Report the scam to the platform where you met them and to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC). If you’ve sent money, contact your bank or card provider as soon as possible.

There’s no shame in being targeted — romance scammers are skilled manipulators. But by staying informed and cautious, you can make new connections while protecting your financial security.

“Scammers are always devising new ways to make people part with their money,” Simona says. “This is their full-time job, so older adults and their loved ones need to always be on alert.”

Well-being